Lazy Parenting

  XD I love lazy parents like mine! It differs day to day. I wonder if they wake up and are like, "Myah, I'm gonna be hardcore grade dad this week. Jokester dad is getting old..." Yeah, jokester dad is annoying. But hardcore grade dad is worse. Randomly this weekend he decides that I'm not allowed to do anything (namely surf the net) before I do my homework. 'Friggin nazi-dad. -anger-

  But it's funny 'cuz he thinks he's all tough and intimidating. He really would be intimidating if he didn't act like a a little kid when he gets mad. But he does. Therefore it's kinda hilarious. He got mad 'cuz I swatted a gnat. He's like ,"What was that for?!" I guess he thought I was making some kind of secret teenage hand gesture. XD

  The funniest thing is when I really do give him attitude. He just sits down and stares really hard at me. Really, really hard. I just ignore him. What king of parenting is that? Staring at you child is supposed to fix behavioral problems? "Oh no! He made me feel mildly uncomfortable! I'll never disobey again!" Yeah, sure pop. XP

Anyways, that's only half of the set. My parents are uber funny. XD I love them! Later! -^-^-

Men Die First

 Isn't funny when guys are all macho? They're all, "Look how cool and stong I am! Your puny female body just can not compare! Labudabu!"

 Well my puny body lasts five more years than your's does! That's right the average life span for a man is an estimated 75.02 years, while a female's is an estimated 80.82! Take that men! With your XY chromosomes, and your cocky attitude! Ha, a pun! I'm brilliant!...No not really.

Double X chromosomes rock! Later.

Maternal lactating secretion

Pomegranates?

I was reading my shampoo bottle the other day, and it said that some scholars believe pomegranate is the actual fruit of the tree of life...What? Propagate?!

 So, like the first wrong ever committed by man, was because of a pomegranate...Have you ever tempted by a pomegranate? I mean first of all, if a snake started talkin' to me, I wouldn't just listen! I'd be like, "OH MY-! Is that snake talking to me!? I don't do drugs, why is this happening!"

 But let's pretend talking to snakes is normal. So the snakes all, "Tassste thiss fruit."

 I'd be like, "No thanks."

 "It isss the fruit of knowledge. Wouldn't you like to know all and everything?"

 "But..."

 "Yessss?"

 "It's a pomegranate."

 "Sssso?"

 "Well, I just, you see...I'm not really into pomegranate."

 "What'sss wrong with pomegranate?!"

 "It's one letter away from having 'granite' in its name! That should be a hint to its taste!"

 "Fine! Whatever!"

 "Do you have, like, a doughnut of knowledge? Maybe a cupcake...?"

 A cupcake of knowledge. Now that might be worth living with sin. But no, because of Satan's pomegranates sin was released into the world and screwed everything up. Fate is cruel. Later.